


The Peeping Beagles

by idanato



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Mischief, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26912998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idanato/pseuds/idanato
Summary: When Ferdinand becomes gripped with the compulsion to peep inside Hubert's room, he learns some things cannot be unseen.[Hubert Week Day 6: Indulgence]
Comments: 13
Kudos: 39
Collections: Hubert Week 2020





	The Peeping Beagles

Ferdinand had gotten used to seeing some pretty odd things in his last few months at Garreg Mach. There was the strange golden glow around the pond that one month, the locked off areas that were only open for special festivals, the combat instructor that wore a mask for unclear reasons (did he have a scar? Pimples? Ferdinand was too polite to ask). However, the sight he was met with when leaving his room this particular afternoon was exceptionally unusual.

Caspar’s eye was pressed to the keyhole of Hubert’s room. Ferdinand tactfully cleared his throat, “Ah-hem, Caspar, what in Fodlan are you up to?”

Caspar jumped back from the door and looked at Ferdinand without a single ounce of shame, “I’m trying to see inside Hubert’s room.”

“Why?” Why would anyone want to see inside that annoying yes-man’s room?

“Because I want to know what he’s got in there,” said Caspar as if that were normal or obvious.

“He probably has his bed and some books, and whatever Lady Edelgard orders him to have,” said Ferdinand as he crossed his arms. He had to discipline Caspar somehow, it couldn't get out that the Black Eagle House was prone to peeping, they had too many other problems to deal with. Chiefly there was their ice cold house leader and her insufferable henchmen. 

Hubert followed Edelgard around like she was the goddess’ gift to the earth, and Ferdinand was mad at himself for falling prey to the jealousy that no one was following him around like that. Was Hubert so blind that he could not see Ferdinand’s natural superiority? “Actually he probably has a big portrait of the princess, if I were to wager a guess.” Hubert probably kissed it when no one was looking!

“Well don’t you want to know now?” Caspar had a point.

Ferdinand’s room was filled with his favorite things: his armor collection, books on military strategy, his prized tea set that he would use for a tea party with a special person when he finally found someone who would appreciate the occasion as much as he. What was in Hubert’s room? “I suppose you have piqued my curiosity.” Ferdinand looked left, then right, and quickly dropped to his knees in front of the door to see what was visible through the keyhole. “Keep a look out would you Caspar?” This was the most ignoble thing he could be caught doing right now. Ferdinand didn’t want to face the shame of being caught in such a compromising position, least of all by the owner of the room he was currently attempting to spy into.

The mid afternoon sun was right in his eyes making it hard to discern much detail. “I cannot pick out anything of note.”

“I know!” hissed Caspar. “I think we need to scale the wall.”

Ferdinand pulled back from the keyhole to give Caspar an incredulous stare, “Are you suggesting we climb up the wall to peep in his window?”

“Yes,” said Caspar in a way that made it clear he was not looking for constructive criticism on this plan.

“I cannot say I am _that_ curious,” said Ferdinand, though it was a lie. He now really wanted to know what was in Hubert’s room. What made this infuriating man tick? What did he choose to surround himself with when no one was around to judge? Did they share common ground in favorite fiction, or an appreciation for military history? Ferdinand saw this as his chance to connect with Hubert and finally prove to the sycophantic mage that if he was going to follow anyone around, it ought to be Ferdinand.

They found themselves on the ground floor where the commoners bunked (and Linhardt, who purportedly was too lazy to walk up the stairs to sleep anywhere else). Ferdinand and Caspar looked up at the ominous window belonging to Hubert’s room. Caspar, uninvited, began to scale Ferdinand’s back in an effort to climb up. Ferdinand felt a heel planting on his shoulder as he scrambled to grab Caspar’s ankles in order to support his housemate.

“Can you see anything?” asked Ferdinand. His own view was completely blocked by Caspar's backside.

“I’m too short,” complained Caspar. “There’s not really much to grab to climb up there.”

A window rapidly opened in front of them and Ferdinand nearly sent Caspar tumbling to the ground. Dorothea was eye level with Ferdinand, “What do you think you’re doing?”

She was half dressed and looking irate. Ferdinand realized that he’d just been standing in front of her window, looking like a peeping tom himself, “Dorothea! I can explain!”

The singer folded her arms and gave him a damning look, “I’m waiting.”

“I, we, Caspar wants to see inside Hubert’s room, which is directly above yours,” said Ferdinand as he sold out the grappler on his shoulders.

Dorothea frowned, “Yeah, right. Perverts.”

“We are investigating Hubert’s interests, not trying to watch him! He is not even in there,” protested Ferdinand as Caspar climbed down. Ferdinand was trying to win Dorothea over, and he did not need the setback of appearing untoward in his behavior, especially towards Hubert!

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be trying to spy if he was in there,” said Caspar. “I just, I want to know what he gets up to. We share a wall, and there’s a lot of weird sounds sometimes.”

Dorothea gave a long look up at her ceiling, “I suppose, sometimes he does drop heavy things—”

“Like a body!” supplied Caspar.

The three were silent. Hubert was scary, but a murderer? Off the battlefield? “We need to look for the good of our house,” announced Ferdinand, his curiosity burning brighter than ever. “If he is up to something foul, we are obligated to bring him to justice, before he tarnishes all our honor or worse, brings us down with him as complicit to his crimes.”

“I know how we can get a look,” said Dorothea with a mischievous glint to her green eyes.

Pegasus were charming lovely docile creatures, if you were a woman. They simply did not tolerate men, which Ferdinand personally resented. If the Pegasus just took time to get to know him, maybe it would not be attempting to bite him right now. He had a wonderful personality and was an exemplary model of his sex, he should not be drug in the mud with unsavory individuals and included in this baseless Pegasus vendetta. It simply wasn’t fair!

Petra, to her credit, was doing a commendable job of attempting to wrangle the flying mount. Wyverns were out because none of them knew how to ride one at present, and so this ornery Pegasus was their only way of getting level with Hubert’s room.

“I am not sure why she is being like this,” said Petra with a hint of distress as she death-gripped the reins while Ferdinand death gripped her. From the ground Caspar and Dorothea looked quite glad not to have volunteered to go up. Petra shook her head, “I cannot get close with her so upset, you must get off.”

She navigated down to the ground and Ferdinand tried to gracefully dismount even as the beating wings attempted to hit him. As soon as he was off, the Pegasus let out a grateful snort and grew extremely calm. Petra took a deep breath and flew back up alone. She hovered at the window and did not look particularly impressed or shocked, “It is looking like a normal room to me.” She looked back down at her friends, “Why are we doing this?”

“Are you trying to get us all killed?” Bernadetta’s keen was high pitched as she spied out her window at the suspicious courtyard scene.

“Oh Bern, calm down! It’s fine,” insisted Dorothea with a dismissive wave.

“No it’s not, Hubert’s going to kill you all when he finds out, and me too because Bernie bear let this happen,” cried Bernadetta as she pulled on the drawstrings of her hood in an attempt to hide herself further.

Ferdinand slammed his fist into his open palm, “We are opening that room or my name is not Ferdinand von Aegir.”

This was his moment to prove his skills at battle strategy. Hubert was their house’s tactician, though Ferdinand was convinced this was a blatant act of favoritism on Edelgard’s part. He could be a wonderful tactician. He would show everyone when he successfully opened that door.

His plan: to use a battering ram procured from the armory. Petra lead at the front with her usual enthusiastic attitude, Bernadetta was teary as she brought up the rear, and there a fire of curiosity lit in Dorothea and Caspar’s eyes. Ferdinand felt like their fearless leader as he prepared to bring down that door. “On the count of three—” began Ferdinand.

He was interrupted by a weary groan coming up the stairs. Linhadrt was huffing and puffing as he drug Hubert up to the second floor. Everyone stared as Caspar indiscreetly hid the battering ram behind his body.

“What on earth is going on?” demanded Ferdinand as he looked at the most unhelpful member of their house aiding the person least likely to ask for help with anything.

“Hubert, collapsed, right on me,” wheezed Linhardt as he dropped the mage unceremoniously upon the floor. “Someone get his key, please.”

Petra raced to pat the big Black Eagle down. She held up his room key in victory as Hubert, still unconscious, emitted a soft groan. He probably required medical attention, but there was no time for that! Petra presented the key to Ferdinand, “Will you be doing the honors?”

Ferdinand’s heart raced as he heard the lock clicking open. The door gave an ominous creak as it swung inward, but thankfully no traps went off. All the Black Eagles rushed to look in, nearly trampling Hubert in the process. The students spilled into the forbidden chamber and gasped at the unexpected sight they were met with.

It was not at all what Ferdinand had been expecting. There were the normal things, a little vanity with Hubert’s shaving kit, and a desk neatly organized with reason assignments. Then there was something _special_. The doors of Hubert's wardrobe happened to be open revealing a self indulgent collection that would otherwise be hidden away. 

Delicate glass Pegasus figurines crammed the shelves. Pegasus in a bird bath. Pegasus playing tag. Pegasus brushing each other, their tiny curry combs held in miniature porcelain mouths. 

There was silence among the group as they absorbed the strange sight. “Get him into his bed and breathe not a word more,” ordered Ferdinand as he came to his senses. Hubert was going to murder them all if he knew they had seen this. Ferdinand deftly crossed the room to close up the wardrobe and its not quite incriminating but borderline embarrassing contents. Hubert could absolutely not know that they had all seen his secret. 

Bernadetta let out a surprised ‘ _aww_ ’ as she fished free a sizable Pegasus plush doll from Hubert’s bed. Caspar and Petra physically heaved Hubert onto the mattress. Dorothea made sure his pillow was fluffed before tucking him in while Bernadetta draped his arms around his massive, massive Pegasus plush.

Hubert stirred slightly and everyone froze. Dorothea’s eyes were full of panic as she began to hum a familiar lullaby. Ferdinand was seized with adrenaline as he strategically removed Black Eagles from the room as quietly as possible. First Bernadetta was thrown out to sit with Linhardt in the hall, then Petra, then Caspar with Ferdinand's hand clamped over his mouth. Lastly Dorothea, still singing, backed up as Ferdinand took her hand to guide her to the door. They let it shut with a soft click.

“I believe we all understand why we must never bring this up again,” said Ferdinand. There was a collective nod as everyone rushed to go their separate ways. It seemed some things were hidden for a reason, and Ferdinand had no desire to weed out any more soft secrets lurking beneath Hubert’s sinister surface.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, no refunds on any IQ points lost while reading this


End file.
